A devotional by Laura DeNooyer
When my daughters were teenagers, and my sons were nine and seven, our family had a rough year. Both girls struggled with various issues surfacing as rebellion.
During that time, I sensed God asking me, “Laura, will you still love them no matter what they do?” Of course I would, though they tested me at every turn.
The Lord also asked, “Laura, will you trust me no matter what the outcome?”
That was harder to answer.
Then He’d remind me, “Laura, you’re a child of mine, first and foremost. Then a wife and mother. Trust Me, above all. Not circumstances.”
We got through that year, and things improved. I’m thankful for the Lord teaching and changing me, showing me I could trust Him. I assumed the lesson was over.
But I never dreamed all of that mess was mere foreshadowing of what was to come.
After some relatively peaceful “normal” years, lightning and thunder hit. Hard. The earth rattled and rumbled. And still is.
No doubt God was still asking me, “Laura, will you love them no matter what they do?” And, “Laura, will you trust me no matter what the outcome?”
Again, He reminded me, “Laura, you’re a child of mine, first and foremost. Then a wife and mother. Trust Me.”
But trust was getting harder, because circumstances got tougher and more complicated. Year after year, our family was hit by emotional cyclones that took us anywhere but Oz.
Did God see what was happening? Was He listening to my prayers? What could I do to fix the situation myself? I contemplated my options. After all, God wasn’t moving as quickly as I’d like.
Fast forward to June 2020. Road trip! Driving long distance was respite for me, time vacillating between prayer and reflection or belting out 1970s hits to an audience of one. I settled in for the solo 1000 miles ahead, from Wisconsin to Florida to visit my mother-in-law.
But this time I was stewing and launched into my own dreary blues tune of “Why, God?” Again, not sure He was listening.
Furthermore, my cousin had recently shared his “word from the Lord” that gave him confidence and assurance about a health challenge. Scripture popped into his head at the right moments along with God-sent visions that kept him going.
That’s not how God operates with me. I’ve never had a vision. God doesn’t whisper in my ear. My faith goes deep, but it’s based on scripture, not “experiences.” But what would be wrong with an experience now and then?
So my thoughts whirled as the Lord remained silent. Why do my prayers fall unheeded? Why can’t I have a word of assurance from the Lord? One regarding my particular situation.
In Illinois, as I approached a junction to the southbound freeway, I gave the road my full attention. I knew exactly where it was, and watched for the exit ramp.
But no such ramp appeared. How could this be? I knew the location. I stopped for directions, and was on the right track. So I continued driving east. Still no exit. And no other roads to turn around on. By now I’m surrounded by cows and cornfields.
Aggravation growing by the minute, I finally turned south on the first country road. At least I was headed toward Florida.
Such a waste of time and gas! Not a good omen so early in this trip. Several miles later, clenching the steering wheel, I turned back west on another country road, in hopes of catching that elusive freeway. After another ten miles, there it was. Crying, I turned south and claimed the middle lane.
Then it came to me. Not as words. Not as someone talking. But the concept. As if God Himself were speaking. “Laura, you don’t know the plan. You don’t see the full picture. You can only get from one point to the next as I allow it. But I see the full picture. And I’ll get you where you need to be.”
No promises of rainbows and a rosy future. No guarantees about my loved ones. But He spoke assurance about me. Rooted in His Word. The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand (Psalm 37:23-24, NIV).
It was my word from the Lord.
But that wasn’t all. The next evening, in southern Georgia, I needed a full tank of gas to get all the way to Florida to avoid stopping in the dark later. So I pulled into the gas station and went to open the gas tank lid. It didn’t budge.
Just tapping on the lid should pop it open. But no amount of knocking or rapping worked. I finally asked a stranger at a nearby car. He started tapping, to no avail.
Now I was really nervous. With only a quarter tank left, I inhaled deeply and decided that I’d casually walk inside, order a sub sandwich, calmly walk back out and try again. But first I needed my purse in the front seat.
I opened the passenger door to get it, and voila! The gas tank lid popped open of its own accord. Or did it? All I’d done was open the car door, nowhere near the lid.
Once again, as clear as day, the notion came to me. Not as words. Not as someone talking. But the concept. As if God Himself were speaking. “Laura, no matter how much you try to manipulate the situation, you won’t improve anything. You must trust My timing.” The plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations (Psalm 33:11, NIV).
That was my second word from the Lord.
It rang with echoes once spoken to impatient Abraham and doubtful, barren Sarah awaiting the promised heir; to anxious Joshua on the cusp of entering the Promised Land; to discouraged Elijah in a still, small voice; to exiled Israel, awaiting the return to their land and the promised Messiah.
And 2000-plus years later, to me. I have no guarantees about the outcome of my specific situation, but I know Whom to trust. And He’s paying attention.
About Laura:
Laura DeNooyer thrives on creativity and encouraging it in others. A Calvin College graduate, she is a teacher, wife, parent of four adult children, and an award-winning author of heart-warming historical and contemporary fiction. Her novels are perfect for fans of Patti Callahan Henry, Erin Bartels, or Amanda Cox. When she’s not writing, you’ll find her reading, walking, drinking tea with friends, or taking a road trip.
Laura’s website: lauradenooyer-author.com
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